woman in hospital bed with IV bags and monitors, looking toward the camera

2018

smiling woman with long wavy hair and black headband, labeled “april (my birthday)"

2022

1989–2022:
the pragmatic walking panic attack

for most of my life, i thought anxiety was an unavoidable part of who i was at my core. chronic stress, constant nausea, crying at work, and years of medical tests that never explained why i was throwing up every single day. i told myself it was law school, or my toxic relationship, or the job (lots of lawyers carry Pepto Bismol in their purse right??). but really it was the life i’d built around fear, control, and survival. i was doing everything “right,” but nothing felt right.

i got yelled at and disrespected a lot at work. and then i went home everyday to more of the same from my husband. i was exhausted, suffering, and completely disconnected from myself.

then the universe intervened.

woman in a navy shirt taking a car selfie, labeled “May,” with trees and a fence outside the window
brunette woman in a car smiling with "June" written in pink overlay text, buildings and trees visible outside the window

spring 2022:
the unraveling

the day after my birthday, i got fired for what felt like no reason. that day flipped a switch i didn’t know existed. by June, i’d left my marriage, changed jobs, changed cars, changed phones; basically hit “refresh” on my entire life. it was chaos, but it was also the first time i realized i didn’t have to accept pain as status quo.

woman with long wavy light brown hair smiling, with "October" overlaid in black text on a white shirt
woman with long curled brunette hair smiling at the camera in soft indoor lighting, wearing a black sweatshirt with partial white lettering, with the word ‘December’ written in teal text overlay

January 2023:
the first conversation

i was grieving a situationship that had wrecked me when i came across a post recommending "The Universe Has Your Back". i rolled my eyes but ordered it anyway because i respected the poster's opinion and she said it helped her with her business.

the book suggested asking for a sign from the universe, something specific, so i picked 7777. (there's actually a longer story about why 7777 has been an important number for me since i got an unmistakable sign when i was 20, but that's for another day i think)

the next day, a new case landed on my desk at work: past due amount $7,777.00. it felt like reality winked at me.

“waiting for circumstances to change so you can feel good is like looking in a mirror waiting for your reflection to smile first.”
— Bashar

2023–2025: learning the language

that one wink opened a floodgate. i started asking for more signs, and getting them. specific, personal, impossible-to-make-up signs. at first i laughed. then i got curious.

i dove into tarot, spirituality, quantum physics, neuroscience, all of it. i stopped trying to separate the mystical from the practical and started seeing how they inform and rely on each other.

this became the heart of everything i'm now calling Everyday AlchEmmy: learning to work with both science and spirit to rewrite your own operating system.

woman with short reddish-brown hair lying on a teal pillow, smiling slightly at the camera in soft lighting

2025

now: the freedom and the work

i used to think freedom meant peace and quiet. it’s actually bigger (and harder) than that. it means realizing you’re not a slave to your thoughts. it means understanding that whatever you focus on expands. it means taking responsibility for those facts and learning to use curiosity instead of control. it means letting go of the bar and putting your hands up because the truth is you waited in line for this rollercoaster ride so you might as well let go and enjoy it.

i don’t have all the answers, but i finally understand that i’m in conversation with something bigger, and it responds when i do. that’s what this whole chapter of my life is about: learning to live in dialogue instead of defense.

and every time i shift my focus, the universe answers back.

what you focus on expands

~

what you focus on expands ~